One day the Buddha was speaking to a prince.
The prince asked him, “What do you and your monks do in your monastery?”
The Buddha said, “We sit and we walk and we eat.”
The prince said, “How are you different, then, from my people, for we do those things as well?”
The Buddha responded, “When we sit, we know we are sitting. When we walk, we know we are walking. When we eat, we know we are eating.”

I always tell this parable when speaking of mindfulness because it is such a simple story with a big lesson.  To be aware of what you are doing when you are doing it, free from distractions; that is Mindfulness.

By learning mindfulness, we are empowered to be in charge of ourselves in a different way. It has been proven that awareness assists in emotional regulation. As we understand ourselves, we accept ourselves and change ourselves. It is a practice of attention and intention.

Learning Mindfulness helps with:

  • Learning to control your attention

  • Ending rumination

  • Experiencing what you’re doing

In the Mindfulness Module, we learn the 3 states of mind, and the core mindfulness ‘what’ and ‘how’ skills which are the vehicles to reaching ‘wise mind’.

This week I want to discuss the 3 States of Mind.

Core mindfulness is based on Eastern Zen philosophy, and it includes Western contemplative practices. Mindfulness is an awareness of thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and behavioral urges.  Like anything else, this can only be achieved with practice.

In DBT core mindfulness begins with the concept of states of mind. There are three states of mind that we are all in at varying times: wise mind, reasonable mind, and emotional mind. Wise mind is the ideal state of mind that we strive for from which to make our decisions. The other two states of mind combine to form the wise mind.

The reasonable mind is the logical state of mind that people use when doing the math, reading a map, and various other concrete tasks. It is described as the “cool” state of mind that we use to deal with empirical facts.

Emotional mind is the state of mind in which we feel the depth of our emotions and act from an emotional state. In an extreme, this state of mind would be used if we reacted impulsively out of anger without regard to consequences.  This part responds to feelings, even if those feelings don’t match up with what we are observing. This is considered the “hot” state of mind.

Wise mind is the state of mind in the middle of both logical and emotional mind. In wise mind, we are aware of our feelings, and we decide how to act in a way to honor our feelings and goals. In wise mind, if we were angered, we would acknowledge our feelings and act in a way that would not create negative consequences for ourselves.

We all know people who function primarily out of a specific state of mind.  My mother, for example, seems to live in the emotional mind, which in turn places me in Reasonable mind when interacting with her.  I naturally jump to reasonable mind without thinking probably to find balance. For practice, try to recognize when you notice someone in each state of mind.

All 3 minds have their strengths and weaknesses.  Think of some pro’s and con’s for each state of mind.